So, I was laid off after training and mentoring folks to take my job (after 25 years). Fortunately, I was blessed six months later with a new position for the same company. It’s strange but I am soooo much more happier in this new job than I was in my last. The only problem is I’m not getting paid nearly close to what I was before but… hey, I got a job with benefits. I’m thankful.

Also I have way more time on my hands than ever before considering my kids are now young adults and I no longer need to drive four hours a day going to dance classes, baseball practices/games or basketball practices/games. What in the world could I possibly do that would fill my time and perhaps fill my pockets at the same time???

Then it came to me… food delivery? I can drive. I could run in and out of restaurants and drop food off to random strangers. So, I signed up for Postmates (which is now Uber Eats) and also Grubhub.

I delivered a few orders randomly for a while. Easy breezy but it’s not lucrative. Basically I was making pocket change but it got me out of the house and able to interact with fellow humans which were all nice with the exception of one server at a restaurant who gave me the stink eye and made me feel like dirt at the bottom of her shoe. In her defense, I nearly bumped into her after I tripped on a piece of rug. She almost dropped a tray of food. So… I didn’t blame her.

But, a few days ago, I had time and could use extra funds and thought… why not deliver? So I clicked on Uber Eats and was surprised when an offer popped up only a couple of minutes after logging on. I accepted it. I went to the restaurant and when I got back into my car with the order I was surprised to find a new order had popped up. But, it didn’t give me the option to decline. This stumped me. I looked further and realized it wasn’t a food order but a pick up from a store for two lounge chairs. Wtf? I can’t pick up lounge chairs… that wasn’t part of my plan. So I kept tapping into the app trying to figure out how to get out of this. Nope. Appeared to be no way out.

So I ultimately decided to be a good person and pick up some strangers damn lounge chairs. Fortunately, I was in my van and knew they could fit. Also fortunately, I had the GrubHub warming bag in my car so put the Uber Eats order in there to keep it warm. I walked into the store with most likely a lost look on my face because an associate immediately asked me if I was there to pick up an online order. After I confirmed he helped me complete checkout then pointed me to the chairs. “Are you okay picking them up?”

In my head I was cursing and having a temper tantrum but out loud I said, “Um, sure. I got this.”

He said they were light and I should be okay.

Pssst… I got this. I walked over to the chairs and attempted to pick them up at the same time.

Nope. Nope… I don’t got this.

He saw my struggle and then suggested, “You know, you could take the shopping cart right over there.” He pointed.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” I said. I grabbed the cart and attempted to pick the lounge chairs up again but it just didn’t happen.

The guy said, “Hold on, let me help you.” Thankfully he helped get the chairs on the cart them wheeled it to the van. He even helped me get it into the van. He wished me luck getting it out and told me to pull them out carefully so I don’t rip up the upholstery. I finally got back in my car and tapped the app to get the address for where to deliver it. I plugged the address into my gps and I was on my way. About ten minutes later I hear the words, “You have arrived at your destination. The route guidance is now finished.” I looked at the house addresses around me but none were matching what was on the app. I drove up and down the street… the address does not exist. I had someone elses lounge chairs in my car. I came to the conclusion I would go with the address that the gps stopped at. It just happened to be a house with a for sale sign jabbed into it. I figured it would make sense if a realtor or owner ordered the chairs to stage the house. I managed to pull the chairs out without damaging them or my car and placed them in the driveway since per the app it instructed to leave anywhere. I was smart and placed the receipt in between the armrest and back of the chair. I tapped delivered and took a photo of the chairs sitting in the driveway with my phone. Then I got the heck back into my car and drove off before someone could stop me.

Then, I pulled over to get the address for the original order. I tapped the address into my gps then off I went. Now, this address led to a field. Okay, y’all I was not about to be a victim on the five o’clock news. I seriously contemplated saying f@$& it and take this stranger’s order as my own lunch but my conscious wouldn’t allow me to. So, I drove a little further and learned the address was really a business building. I also realized there was a note that said, “drop off at the lobby desk.”

I couldn’t see the office building numbers from my car so had to get out of the car and walk from building to building. I glanced around the lot to make sure there were people around in case something went down and I needed witnesses or an escape route. I finally found the right building and entered gasping for breath. The receptionist was talking to a man that was leaning over her desk. (I am pretty sure they were flirting. The writer in me knew there was a story there.) She looked at me questioningly and a bit of concern on her face. “I’m here to drop off a food order for Kevin,” I said, still catching my breath.

The guy said, “Oh, that’s me.”

I handed it to him and said, “Sorry for the wait. Thank you.”

“Oh, no problem. Thanks,” he said.

It dawned on me as I was heading to my car… that guy might not have been Kevin.

Welp, I was done. I made sure I was logged off the app. It took me one hour from start to finish. I drove from one side of town all the way to the other.

I decided then and there it would be my last delivery.

Later on that same day, I was bored and started glancing at my phone and then the app. My son saw what I was doing. He had already heard about my adventure. He said, “Don’t Mom. Put the phone down. It’s not worth it. The gas, the time, safety… don’t.”

He was right. But knowing me… when I get bored… who knows…