Ever discover years after graduating high school that your supposed rival was really a cool person that you could have been bff’s with? Perhaps they were friends with someone who you just didn’t get along with so you automatically assumed they were your enemy.
Ever have a crush who became one of your closest friends and there was still a small part of you crushing on them?
Ever have someone steal or read your journals that were embarrassingly dedicated to that crush??
I have. Ugh! Humiliating moments and misunderstandings can be the spark writers like myself need to create a fictional story. In this case, a holiday romance.
Since Hallmark has their Christmas in July movies, why not have a Christmas romance book promotion.
Before the Christmas Wedding is currently available for free on kindle this week. Below is the description and the link:
Amanda Alexander has been recruited to be the wedding planner for William and Rachel’s wedding. It has to be the wedding of the city and season. She should be ecstatic and thrilled, and she would be if she didn’t have a lifelong crush on William. She’s trying to be supportive—she really is—but she soon realizes that she can’t do this alone. So, she recruits her neighbor for help. He’s been there for her since they became neighbors three years ago. Of course, he’d be there for her now.
Dex Richardson has been Amanda’s handyman, confidante, helper, and each other’s plus. They’ve even pretended to be each other’s significant other. But he’s been having confusing feelings and emotions lately with anything that involves her. Now he’s helping her plan the wedding for her lifelong crush. It’s hard for him to see her so “crushed.” He’d do anything for her. Almost.
Dex has been someone else’s second choice before—the rebound guy. Dex has no plans on being anyone’s second choice ever again. If things were going to work out between him and Amanda, she would have to confess she loves only him before the wedding.
So… when the pandemic hit my husband started watching mountain biking videos on YouTube. The more he watched them the more he wanted to try it. He asked me if I was interested in trying out. I said nope. Cruising on a flat surface? Sure. He let it go for a bit but then he brought it back up again. So much so that he bought himself a mountain bike.
He was happy but the bike just sat there for months… then a month before my birthday last year he asked if I’d like a bike so we could start bike riding together. I told him I’d like a cruiser but he ignore that and took me to a bike shop where he and the saleswoman talked me into a mountain bike that has fat tires, multiple gears, shiny and lots of stuff that I don’t know what to do with. Even while we were in the process of purchasing it, I kept glancing at the powder blue beach cruiser with the cute white basket in the front of it. The one I dreamed of having ever since I was a little kid. But for whatever reason me on a mountain bike made my husband happy.
We got helmets, gloves, biking shorts with the butt pads… we were ready to go. We finally put our feet to the pedals and rolled out. It was great… for a few weeks. The saleswoman and my spouse had tried to explain how to use the gear shifts on my bike but for the life of me it didn’t work well for me… my brain just won’t process when to shift gears, which way to go… blah, blah, blah. So I found that when I keep it on “6”, I’m good. I’m not afraid of working out and sweating it up so I decided I’d always keep it there and not switch it. This annoyed the guy I married. He was speed racer… zipping and zooming… he wanted to go faster and explore rougher terrain. I had told him he should go out with his friends that are heavily into real mountain biking. He looked hurt. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings but I was so not going to do the mountain stuff when I could barely manage the straight flat path.
Eventually, we were getting on each other’s nerves. He wanted to go faster while I wanted to cruise. There was a point where three women were biking on beach cruisers. I was admiring their bikes and feeling sentimental witnessing obvious three generations of women doing something together and enjoying each other’s company. It made me long for my mom and grandmother who have been gone for a long time. I was so captivated by them that I had let them pass me by. My husband was irritated because in his eyes we just lost some race I didn’t know we were having. He was still focused on going faster… I told him to just go ahead without me. I even shooed him.
Then I got mad because that was exactly what he did. I am laughing now as I am writing this but it wasn’t funny at the time. I was more annoyed when a few minutes later I beefed it trying to turn myself around on gravel. I had my hissy fit and declared I’d never go biking again. That was a year ago.
This past weekend we both decided, hey, let’s give it another try. It was nice outside- clear skies, gentle cool breeze and mid 70’s. Perfect for biking. So, off we went.
He stuck by me and maintained my pace even though I encouraged him to pass me and go the speed he wanted to. He seemed content. We got to a point on the trail where we had to ride under a bridge and he told me, “Keep to the right.” I already knew this since we have done the trail multiple times but I said, “Okay.” When we got to a dip and the trail veered a bit to the left, I lost control of my bike but I was trying to play it off. I drifted to the left and my husband yelled, “Keep to the right!” He said it multiple times. I said, “I know. I am just trying to move over so you can pass me!” I was lying, of course. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew that I was lying but I stuck to it.
So… that was the beginning of the crabby couple… what tipped us over the edge was when Mike tried to warn me about a dirt biker. I wasn’t sure I heard him right so I glanced behind me and yep, there was a dirt biker, headed straight for me. Of course, I lost control of my bike. I was irritated, terrified and humiliated. My mind and body was bouncing all over the place. Thankfully, I didn’t fall off the bike but rather somehow managed to hop off and hold onto the bike at the same time. But, I stubbed my big toe and let out a few curse words.
The dirt biker dodged me and said, “Sorry.” Then passed me by.
My husband looked at me, saw the scowl on my face, saw that I was okay but didn’t say a word. I knew he had a lot of words to share but he didn’t. We were quiet the rest of the ride.
It’s crazy because when I was a teen I could ride my bike for hours and do it while eating an ice cream cone. But now… I think I need to pass. I’ll stick with my walking, dancing and playing vr. I can rock it in the vr world!
It’s hard. It’s painful. Your soul aches and you can at times feel both physically, emotionally and mentally ill and drained. For me, terminal illness, alcoholism and substance abuse struggles are eerily similar. While my father had his ten year battle with Alzheimer/dementia/asphesia, several friends were battling alcoholism and substance abuse. It was a constant dismaying feeling of grieving the slow decline of the people I love most in the world while they were still alive.
It’s hard because ultimately you come to terms with the fact that there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix them. In the case of terminal illness, you can only be present. In the case of alcoholism or substance abuse, you can lecture, preach, threaten but none of it matters… it is completely up to the person and their self control… but it’s also an illness. The painful reality that they often can’t control it.
In my case, I tried to be there as much as possible. One was in so much pain they chose to take their own life. I was so angry for the choice they made. I couldn’t understand. Honestly, I still don’t understand. I don’t even want to accept it even though it’s been years but I don’t have a choice. I can only live on.
I have learned there is absolutely no real advice or solution with regards to being merely a loved one. The only thing you can do is be there for them. But sometimes for your own sanity you have to walk away. But be there as much as you can and cherish those good moments while they last.
I do know that if love were enough, they would all still be here.
Giselle Lumas 