I decided to write a post today so that I could clear my writers guilt for the day. I have been going through the blockage for a couple of weeks. Strangely, I think it is related to having too many story ideas or scenes popping into my head that I am overwhelmed. I’m not sure which one to focus on.
When I start to work on one, my mind drifts to another.
I’m still writing the Beach City Cozy Mysteries. Wiped Out (Book Six) is in editing. I also have a childrens detective series with eight books floating around out there. I am currently writing the ninth book. Another childrens book series with book one out there with book two in the works. There is a life series in the works. So… yep… too much going on in my head.
And, I know I said I would share the pen name for the childrens books, but I am still not ready yet.
And… I’ve got no other updates to share. Ugh. Did this little itty bitty post ease some of that writer not writing guilt?? Nope. Ugh.
Have you ever had someone you looked up to, respected and love tell you, “Have a nice life.”? It felt like a dagger straight into my heart when one of my aunts said it to me. She said it just before she left my grandfather’s funeral decades ago. But those words still hurt today. I realize now as an adult that when she said them, it had absolutely nothing to do with me.
For some reason her words kept playing over and over again in my head last night so it inspired me to write this post.
It is hard when you come to the realization that what you feel for other people can mean absolutely nothing. You may pray for them everyday. Think of them often. Wonder what they are up to but you aren’t even on their radar. Yep. It hurts. They may not even realize the hurt they are causing.
But it’s okay. Don’t let the actions and behavior of others stop you from being the kind hearted, loving and amazing person you are. Yes, this is a big note to myself. But I figure others may need to read them/hear them.
Keep your head up. Focus on all the good things and blessings around you. There really is plenty to be grateful and thankful for.
I have been blessed with not ever having the Fear of Missing Out curse. I’ve never worried about what other people did or thought. I never worried about what material stuff others had either.
I’ve always wanted to be in a position of being able to get whatever I wanted when I wanted it though. I’d absolutely be irritated and annoyed when I couldn’t get it. But I would work hard and earn my way into getting whatever it was I wanted. Or let it go.
I am not one for traveling either. *Gasp* Honestly, it’s hilarious to me when the folks who love to travel hear me speak the words, “I don’t want to travel.” They act as if I have commited the ultimate sin. I do enjoy listening to the travelers stories and adventures. I enjoy seeing their eyes light up and the joy on their faces as they recall their memories.
I’m not into gossiping. I admit, though, I will listen as others gossip. But I do know not to take all that is being said as real. No one truly knows what is going on in others lives.
I’ve never been a fashionista. I’m all about comfortable clothes. But I do have my moments when I wish I had a sense of style. I have my moments when my introverted self has a burst of energy that desires to be around other people. I have my moments where I want to get dressed up and go someplace fancy-smancy. I have my moments when I want to feel special. I think we all do.
I haven’t been blogging much. I’ve come to the conclusion that if the people closest to me want to know what’s going on in my life, they can simple reach out to me.
As far as the writing life, yes, I am still writing. I will always write as long as I am able. I have been focusing on children books and a childrens series that has been out and available since February 2023. It is written under a pseudo name for branding purposes. Perhaps in the future I will reveal the name here on the blog. For now, I am keeping it close to my heart.
I am also working on the next book for the Beach City Cozy Mysteries series as well as a romance trilogy. I will provide more details soon… most likely on 2025.
Be safe out there. Do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about what others think, have or do.
My mom would forever try to talk me into changing the ending of books. She did convince me on a couple of them but with Captain of My Heart, I would not budge. The reason was because The Captain’s Son required it.
I had a daydream of a single mother of two kids who fell head over hills for a man who was way older than she was. Their relationship would be short but strong. So much so that she would grieve heavily but to her suprise his son enters her life. Thus begins an emotional roller coaster ride. I cried and laughed out loud while writing this book and series.
For the remainder of this week, The Captain’s Son is available for free on the kindle. Yes, it is part of a series but it can be read as a standalone as well.
Here’s the description and link to order your copy:
Raymond Jackson Jr. returns to Palm Hills, California, years after a misunderstanding with his father. His father passed away a year and a half ago, so he feels it’s time to make amends. His brother also suggests Ray make amends with his father’s girlfriend, Cass, as well. He knows it will be a challenge but believes family and friends are worth fighting for. What Ray doesn’t expect is to fall for Cass, whom his father had planned to marry before he passed away. He’s determined to make her his, but will she see things his way?
In this complete two part series, follow the journey of Cass as she gets another chance at love, not just once but twice. Will it be the forever kind of love or just love in a moment?
Part One- Captain of My Heart Cass never imagined she would be attracted to someone thirty years older than she was. But when Captain Raymond Jackson entered her backyard, she felt as if a lightning bolt struck her. With the face of Sam Elliot and the body of the Rock, how could she not be attracted? They decided to get to know each other better, and Cass soon learns there are a few secrets Ray is keeping from her. Will their relationship be strong enough to survive?
Part Two- The Captain’s Son Raymond Jackson Jr. returns to Palm Hills, California, years after a misunderstanding with his father. His father passed away a year and a half ago, so he feels it’s time to make amends. His brother also suggests Ray make amends with his father’s girlfriend, Cass, as well. He knows it will be a challenge but believes family and friends are worth fighting for. What Ray doesn’t expect is to fall for Cass, whom his father had planned to marry before he passed away. He’s determined to make her his, but will she see things his way?
As the summer unwides there is still the chance to grab a book, sink your toes in the sand, lean back and read as the sounds of crashing waves linger in the background. The fourth book in the Beach City Cozy Mysteries series in available for free this week on the Kindle.
Here’s a short description and the link to order your copy:
It’s no secret that Kevin and Maria are rival food truck owners and chefs. When Maria is shot and killed, the prime suspect is Kevin. It’s up to Abi, Pat, and Shirley to find out who really pulled the trigger and why.
Ever discover years after graduating high school that your supposed rival was really a cool person that you could have been bff’s with? Perhaps they were friends with someone who you just didn’t get along with so you automatically assumed they were your enemy.
Ever have a crush who became one of your closest friends and there was still a small part of you crushing on them?
Ever have someone steal or read your journals that were embarrassingly dedicated to that crush??
I have. Ugh! Humiliating moments and misunderstandings can be the spark writers like myself need to create a fictional story. In this case, a holiday romance.
Since Hallmark has their Christmas in July movies, why not have a Christmas romance book promotion.
Before the Christmas Wedding is currently available for free on kindle this week. Below is the description and the link:
Amanda Alexander has been recruited to be the wedding planner for William and Rachel’s wedding. It has to be the wedding of the city and season. She should be ecstatic and thrilled, and she would be if she didn’t have a lifelong crush on William. She’s trying to be supportive—she really is—but she soon realizes that she can’t do this alone. So, she recruits her neighbor for help. He’s been there for her since they became neighbors three years ago. Of course, he’d be there for her now.
Dex Richardson has been Amanda’s handyman, confidante, helper, and each other’s plus. They’ve even pretended to be each other’s significant other. But he’s been having confusing feelings and emotions lately with anything that involves her. Now he’s helping her plan the wedding for her lifelong crush. It’s hard for him to see her so “crushed.” He’d do anything for her. Almost.
Dex has been someone else’s second choice before—the rebound guy. Dex has no plans on being anyone’s second choice ever again. If things were going to work out between him and Amanda, she would have to confess she loves only him before the wedding.
So… when the pandemic hit my husband started watching mountain biking videos on YouTube. The more he watched them the more he wanted to try it. He asked me if I was interested in trying out. I said nope. Cruising on a flat surface? Sure. He let it go for a bit but then he brought it back up again. So much so that he bought himself a mountain bike.
He was happy but the bike just sat there for months… then a month before my birthday last year he asked if I’d like a bike so we could start bike riding together. I told him I’d like a cruiser but he ignore that and took me to a bike shop where he and the saleswoman talked me into a mountain bike that has fat tires, multiple gears, shiny and lots of stuff that I don’t know what to do with. Even while we were in the process of purchasing it, I kept glancing at the powder blue beach cruiser with the cute white basket in the front of it. The one I dreamed of having ever since I was a little kid. But for whatever reason me on a mountain bike made my husband happy.
We got helmets, gloves, biking shorts with the butt pads… we were ready to go. We finally put our feet to the pedals and rolled out. It was great… for a few weeks. The saleswoman and my spouse had tried to explain how to use the gear shifts on my bike but for the life of me it didn’t work well for me… my brain just won’t process when to shift gears, which way to go… blah, blah, blah. So I found that when I keep it on “6”, I’m good. I’m not afraid of working out and sweating it up so I decided I’d always keep it there and not switch it. This annoyed the guy I married. He was speed racer… zipping and zooming… he wanted to go faster and explore rougher terrain. I had told him he should go out with his friends that are heavily into real mountain biking. He looked hurt. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings but I was so not going to do the mountain stuff when I could barely manage the straight flat path.
Eventually, we were getting on each other’s nerves. He wanted to go faster while I wanted to cruise. There was a point where three women were biking on beach cruisers. I was admiring their bikes and feeling sentimental witnessing obvious three generations of women doing something together and enjoying each other’s company. It made me long for my mom and grandmother who have been gone for a long time. I was so captivated by them that I had let them pass me by. My husband was irritated because in his eyes we just lost some race I didn’t know we were having. He was still focused on going faster… I told him to just go ahead without me. I even shooed him.
Then I got mad because that was exactly what he did. I am laughing now as I am writing this but it wasn’t funny at the time. I was more annoyed when a few minutes later I beefed it trying to turn myself around on gravel. I had my hissy fit and declared I’d never go biking again. That was a year ago.
This past weekend we both decided, hey, let’s give it another try. It was nice outside- clear skies, gentle cool breeze and mid 70’s. Perfect for biking. So, off we went.
He stuck by me and maintained my pace even though I encouraged him to pass me and go the speed he wanted to. He seemed content. We got to a point on the trail where we had to ride under a bridge and he told me, “Keep to the right.” I already knew this since we have done the trail multiple times but I said, “Okay.” When we got to a dip and the trail veered a bit to the left, I lost control of my bike but I was trying to play it off. I drifted to the left and my husband yelled, “Keep to the right!” He said it multiple times. I said, “I know. I am just trying to move over so you can pass me!” I was lying, of course. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew that I was lying but I stuck to it.
So… that was the beginning of the crabby couple… what tipped us over the edge was when Mike tried to warn me about a dirt biker. I wasn’t sure I heard him right so I glanced behind me and yep, there was a dirt biker, headed straight for me. Of course, I lost control of my bike. I was irritated, terrified and humiliated. My mind and body was bouncing all over the place. Thankfully, I didn’t fall off the bike but rather somehow managed to hop off and hold onto the bike at the same time. But, I stubbed my big toe and let out a few curse words.
The dirt biker dodged me and said, “Sorry.” Then passed me by.
My husband looked at me, saw the scowl on my face, saw that I was okay but didn’t say a word. I knew he had a lot of words to share but he didn’t. We were quiet the rest of the ride.
It’s crazy because when I was a teen I could ride my bike for hours and do it while eating an ice cream cone. But now… I think I need to pass. I’ll stick with my walking, dancing and playing vr. I can rock it in the vr world!
It’s hard. It’s painful. Your soul aches and you can at times feel both physically, emotionally and mentally ill and drained. For me, terminal illness, alcoholism and substance abuse struggles are eerily similar. While my father had his ten year battle with Alzheimer/dementia/asphesia, several friends were battling alcoholism and substance abuse. It was a constant dismaying feeling of grieving the slow decline of the people I love most in the world while they were still alive.
It’s hard because ultimately you come to terms with the fact that there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix them. In the case of terminal illness, you can only be present. In the case of alcoholism or substance abuse, you can lecture, preach, threaten but none of it matters… it is completely up to the person and their self control… but it’s also an illness. The painful reality that they often can’t control it.
In my case, I tried to be there as much as possible. One was in so much pain they chose to take their own life. I was so angry for the choice they made. I couldn’t understand. Honestly, I still don’t understand. I don’t even want to accept it even though it’s been years but I don’t have a choice. I can only live on.
I have learned there is absolutely no real advice or solution with regards to being merely a loved one. The only thing you can do is be there for them. But sometimes for your own sanity you have to walk away. But be there as much as you can and cherish those good moments while they last.
I do know that if love were enough, they would all still be here.
My mom had an extremely active imagination. She was also nosy. She would be that neighbor who would look up and down her street to see what was happening on her block. She would often sit by her kitchen or dining room window and eavesdrop on conversations that were close by. She also loved murder mysteries and detective shows: Murder She Wrote, Hill Street Blues, Cagney and Lacey… you name it… she most likely watched. She’d drag my dad and cousin into her theories of what happened or was going to happen (in real life or television.)
Memories of her nosiness inspired me to create Beach City Cozy Mysteries. I have thrown my parents and a cousin’s first names and personalities into the fictional world where they are amatuer sleuths. I admit writing this particular series is therapeutic for me. I feel close to the people I have lost and find myself laughing when they are in the mix of something silly.
The sixth book in the series, A Nutty Holiday Drama, is available for free this week on Kindle. Yes, I am hoping to rope readers in to wanting to check out the other books. 😁
Here’s the description:
Patricia Garret’s daughters are in town for the holidays. While the family attends a town Christmas play, the star is murdered. So not only does Patricia’s detective son, Byron, have to keep tabs on her, Shirley, and Abi, but now he has his meddling sisters to worry about.
Here’s the link to order your free kindle copy on Amazon:
Giselle Lumas 