Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Thoughts and updates

I have been blessed with not ever having the Fear of Missing Out curse. I’ve never worried about what other people did or thought. I never worried about what material stuff others had either.

I’ve always wanted to be in a position of being able to get whatever I wanted when I wanted it though. I’d absolutely be irritated and annoyed when I couldn’t get it. But I would work hard and earn my way into getting whatever it was I wanted. Or let it go.

I am not one for traveling either. *Gasp* Honestly, it’s hilarious to me when the folks who love to travel hear me speak the words, “I don’t want to travel.” They act as if I have commited the ultimate sin. I do enjoy listening to the travelers stories and adventures. I enjoy seeing their eyes light up and the joy on their faces as they recall their memories.

I’m not into gossiping. I admit, though, I will listen as others gossip. But I do know not to take all that is being said as real. No one truly knows what is going on in others lives.

I’ve never been a fashionista. I’m all about comfortable clothes. But I do have my moments when I wish I had a sense of style. I have my moments when my introverted self has a burst of energy that desires to be around other people. I have my moments where I want to get dressed up and go someplace fancy-smancy. I have my moments when I want to feel special. I think we all do.

I haven’t been blogging much. I’ve come to the conclusion that if the people closest to me want to know what’s going on in my life, they can simple reach out to me.

As far as the writing life, yes, I am still writing. I will always write as long as I am able. I have been focusing on children books and a childrens series that has been out and available since February 2023. It is written under a pseudo name for branding purposes. Perhaps in the future I will reveal the name here on the blog. For now, I am keeping it close to my heart.

I am also working on the next book for the Beach City Cozy Mysteries series as well as a romance trilogy. I will provide more details soon… most likely on 2025.

Be safe out there. Do what makes you happy. Don’t worry about what others think, have or do.

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What I’ve learned from loved ones with terminal illness and friends with alcoholism/substance abuse

It’s hard. It’s painful. Your soul aches and you can at times feel both physically, emotionally and mentally ill and drained. For me, terminal illness, alcoholism and substance abuse struggles are eerily similar. While my father had his ten year battle with Alzheimer/dementia/asphesia, several friends were battling alcoholism and substance abuse. It was a constant dismaying feeling of grieving the slow decline of the people I love most in the world while they were still alive.

It’s hard because ultimately you come to terms with the fact that there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix them. In the case of terminal illness, you can only be present. In the case of alcoholism or substance abuse, you can lecture, preach, threaten but none of it matters… it is completely up to the person and their self control… but it’s also an illness. The painful reality that they often can’t control it.

In my case, I tried to be there as much as possible. One was in so much pain they chose to take their own life. I was so angry for the choice they made. I couldn’t understand. Honestly, I still don’t understand. I don’t even want to accept it even though it’s been years but I don’t have a choice. I can only live on.

I have learned there is absolutely no real advice or solution with regards to being merely a loved one. The only thing you can do is be there for them. But sometimes for your own sanity you have to walk away. But be there as much as you can and cherish those good moments while they last.

I do know that if love were enough, they would all still be here.

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Cozy Mystery Summer Reading

My mom had an extremely active imagination. She was also nosy. She would be that neighbor who would look up and down her street to see what was happening on her block. She would often sit by her kitchen or dining room window and eavesdrop on conversations that were close by. She also loved murder mysteries and detective shows: Murder She Wrote, Hill Street Blues, Cagney and Lacey… you name it… she most likely watched. She’d drag my dad and cousin into her theories of what happened or was going to happen (in real life or television.)

Memories of her nosiness inspired me to create Beach City Cozy Mysteries. I have thrown my parents and a cousin’s first names and personalities into the fictional world where they are amatuer sleuths. I admit writing this particular series is therapeutic for me. I feel close to the people I have lost and find myself laughing when they are in the mix of something silly.

The sixth book in the series, A Nutty Holiday Drama, is available for free this week on Kindle. Yes, I am hoping to rope readers in to wanting to check out the other books. 😁

Here’s the description:

Patricia Garret’s daughters are in town for the holidays. While the family attends a town Christmas play, the star is murdered. So not only does Patricia’s detective son, Byron, have to keep tabs on her, Shirley, and Abi, but now he has his meddling sisters to worry about.

Here’s the link to order your free kindle copy on Amazon:

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Summer sci-fi fantasy

Malique Laveaux is a fifteen-year-old misfit with multi-toned skin. He’s an orphan and often spends time alone until one day he runs into a flower shop. There, he meets the owner, Sokie Roberts, and her ten-year-old niece, Lani. He feels connected to them somehow. As time progresses, Lani informs Malique she has dreams about him. One of the dreams includes him aboard a ship being manhandled by two burly men demanding he take his shirt off so they can see the map on his back. Then strange things start to happen. One of the most beautiful girls from school, Clarissa Jones, suddenly takes notice of Malique. Even a Professor of History turns up on his doorstep, claiming to be an old friend of his biological mother. The professor also insists that his sister is still alive.

Is his sister truly alive? Could the pattern on Malique’s skin actually be a map?

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It’s complicated…

I wrote Truth or Dare several years ago. It’s about former best friends who reconnect after years apart and rediscover how much they truly love each other. Several readers had asked me to write a book about a couple of the secondary characters from the book.

Twelve Years of Christmas was brewing in my head for quite some time. I finally typed it out and published it awhile ago. This week it is available for free on kindle.

Description:

Maggie and Reggie have known each other since they were five. They have been getting on each other’s nerves ever since Reggie poured sand into Maggie’s chocolate milk. They are doomed to hang around each other because each of their best friends insist they all hang out as a group. Just before graduating high school, sparks begin to fly. It begins a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship. Will they ever get on the same track headed in the same direction? Will they ever have a Merry Christmas together?

Link:

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Puzzled…

My husband surprised with a wooden tree of life puzzle for Christmas. At first, I felt a bit overwhelmed when I opened the gift. This puzzle wasn’t the traditional puzzle pieces. Nope… this one had unique shapes and designs and there were 700 of them. I didn’t know where to begin!

On New Year’s Eve I decided to open the wooden circle container out and take a stab at it. My son and daughter would add a piece here and there. Eventually I found a pattern… colors, forms started to make sense. I was fascinated by the pieces that were in the shape of birds, flowers, sun or moon. I had thought I would be agitated and irritated by the puzzle. I am not going to lie, there were plenty of times when I have felt that way. For the most part, it was surprisingly therapeutic.

I would binge watch a show on my tablet while working on the puzzle. It was my time to forget all the stuff that was causing me anxiety and stress. My husband’s gift had created a renewed hobby and borderline obsession for puzzles.

If you are battling with anxiety, stress or depression, try picking up a jigsaw puzzle. It might help… or create a whole other level of stress and anxiety.

One of my dog’s got to the very bottom of the puzzle. Doh!!
My next puzzle… this one may go on a wall.
And so it begins…
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Mom’s advice and Grandma’s saying…

The advice from my mom that stays with me and that I find myself repeating to others who need to hear is, “Follow your heart and your gut. Don’t worry about what anyone else says or think. The heck with everyone else! This is your life and you’re the only one who will live it.”

I was in a turbulent time where the world and people surrounding me were telling me one thing but my heart and gut were telling me something completely different. I knew what everyone else wanted. They kept shouting it at me constantly and consistently but again my heart and gut told me otherwise. The thing is, I know it wasn’t easy for my mom to say those words. I know she really wanted me to go in the direction everyone else was telling me to go. I took her advice and I have to say, I am so glad I did.

My mother’s love was unconditional. She supported me even when she thought I was making a mistake. She loved me for who I am. She may have expressed opinions or tried to pursued me to do things I didn’t want to do but she embraced me anyway.

My grandmother was the same. She would tolerate my quiet moodiness but put me in my place in a heartbeat. She’d be polite but brutally honest then give me a big hug soon after. When bad things happened she’d say, “There’s always a reason. We may not understand it but there is always a reason. You may not want to accept but God knows what He is doing.” My mom would often repeat the same words.

I was blessed to have these two amazing, loving women in my life. I can still feel their love surround me even though they are no longer in this world.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!! To all the mama’s and like-a-mama’s out there!

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Senior discount??? Wtf???

Welp. It happened. For the first time in my 50+ years on this Earth, I was given a senior discount without even asking for it. They didn’t even ask me for my drivers license. Gasp!

Let me back up and explain… One of my four dogs, Lily, stepped on a bee and yelped. We thought she was stung which immediately set us into panic because she’s allergic. We checked her paw and noticed it was slightly red but didn’t see a stinger. We gave her bendryl then decided we’d keep an eye on her.

The next day we noticed her nails were slightly turned up. We gave her more benedryl but her paws were progressively getting worse. By the time we finally got to the vet, one of the nails fell off and then another. After further inspection, the vet determined all of the nails needed to go. Turns out it had nothing to do with a bee sting. So, she had a little surgery. She’s in a lot of pain and discomfort.

We have to take her to the vet a few times to get her bandages changed out and her paws inspected. She’s going to be okay. It’s just going to take awhile. They have also drawn blood to find out what caused this.

Of course, I could hear the kir-ching, kir-ching of the cash register everytime the vet spoke a word when we arrived the first day. I was crabby and getting on my own nerves! Not only worrying about my Lily (by the way she’s techinally my daughters dog) but also the dinero involved plus trying to figure out how we were going to get Lily outside to handle her business when she had all paws bandaged up and the cone on her head.

We returned the next day so they could inspect her paws. We had hoped the bandages would be removed but unfortunately the nail beds weren’t where they needed to be. But the vet told me I would be getting a credit for a reason I can’t recall at the moment plus they realized they missed a discount so I wouldn’t have to pay for this visit nor the next. My immediate reaction was a thumbs up and my exclamation of “Cool! Thanks!”

The vet told me to go to the front desk so they could sign me out while he finished working on Lily. I was smiling and walking with a little pep in my step. The receptionist glanced at the computer and said, “Oh, I see we missed the Senior discount. I’ll just apply that now.” She clicked a few times then typed something. She asked me if I wanted the receipt printed or emailed. I told her email was fine.

It didn’t register in my head until I got home. I glanced at the receipt she emailed me. “Senior discount?? Wtf? Why would we get a senior discount?” It seriously took me a few minutes to grasp it… to hold on to and understand. “OMG!! I’m a senior??? Wtf??”

But… oh… I glanced back at the receipt. It was a discount of over $200.00. I felt conflicted. I was smiling for a few seconds and then I frowned. Then scowled and cursed.

“Senior discount!! F$@& senior… psttt… I am not a senior!”

I kid you not… less than a second after I declared that I sneezed and had to rush to the bathroom so I wouldn’t pee on myself.

She can’t get her bandages wet or dirty. This was our solution while outside on wet grass. We have since learned sandwich bags with hair ties work better.

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Writer’s block versus character blocking

As a writer, I am a professional daydreamer. This could be a blessing especially when I am in the writing zone or it can be a curse. The curse happens when I start thinking of everything except when I am supposed to be working on a book. The daydreams get worse when I’m having either a writer’s block or a character block.

Writer’s block is what I am currently going through. I have two books that I am supposed to be focused on but my mind isn’t willing to go into either of the story worlds. But, here I am writing a blog post instead. At least I’m writing. What some people may not realize is the tremendous amount of self imposed guilt and feelings of failure that comes with the hardcore writers block. Writing is a part of who I am. It feeds my soul. I need to write. It’s not a choice. It can crush a writers spirit causing sadness.

Character blocking is something a little different. It is basically a fight between the writer and the characters in the book. It’s when the character(s) reach a certain point in the story and then cross their arms and tap the foot with a scowl on their faces not willing to give the writer anything! Absolutely nothing! The writer can nudge them, push them but the character shakes their head stubbornly and won’t budge a centimeter. The character taunts the writer. It’s aggravating and annoying and causes anger.

For me, the breakthrough from the character blocking will happen in the wee hours of the night from a dream or random thought that pops into my head. It will lead me into the writing zone where the outside would vanishes and I am in the story.

If you’re a writer, you know the only cure for removing the blockers is most likely time. Walk away from the project for a while. Write something else or do something else. The flow will eventually start moving again, but I know, it hurts in the meantime.